28 February 2011

:Happiness in the past:

Danial Haikal Bin Shairil Azrul. Dis lil boy really look a lot like me when I was at his age. Can't wait to squeeze him!

A little bubbly girl, pampered by many; that is how I picture my childhood life was. Be the first girl in the family, I attain lots of attentions from kin. My aunt once present me with a gold ring with a R latter carved on it. R for Rashidah. Mentioned about my name, Nur Rashidah is a common name for a girl, means ‘light of intelligence’. My dad seeks opinion from his best friend. A very religious and pious man and I called him Pak Haji. I grew up with that name, grew up respecting him for giving me such a meaningful name, grew up just to know that I have been loved by many. Parent, sibling, kin, and even friends of friends of them. I was blessed.

My bros were born at Kemaman. I am the first one whom born in Dungun as my family moved here after the government gave us a permanent land. We got a land which is quite at the center of the village. Last year, for the first time, I am holding our land-grant, and then only I realized that our land is wider than others in my village. I guess this is one of many reasons why my parent kept their loyalty to the government. I grew up normal. My neighbors constantly took me to their home especially Tokki Arong and his wife Tok Chik. They are families. I pray they will be given a change by Almighty to stay healthy as I want them to be with me on my big day. My future husband should know them too. Feel the sincere love that they have.

When I was at my first day at kindergarten, I cried. Scared of people. Before, I was pampered by many, but as I step in there, everyone is a stranger. It takes time for me to adapt with the environment. My bros were so kind and protective. They cycling from home, and sent me to kindergarten before they went the school. It was all memories. All the love that they pour really brought me to tears every time the memories came flashing in my mind

*wipe tears*

As I grew older, I learn about responsibilities, learn to differentiate which is good and which is bad. I thanked my mom for forcing me to enter a religious school. I learn a lot from that school. Though I got all the love needed, guide from bros, knowledge that taught well by teachers, yet, on the journey of life, I made mistakes. Mistakes that made u said I wish I never done that, I wish I can turn back times, I wish I was wiser at that time. Only to realized that all the mistakes only made who I am today. As I reach adult world, I feel the burden of responsibilities that adult have, the pressure of life, the need to satisfy others. You realized it aint about you anymore, it is time to pay back. It is time to show them back your love, time to share with others your knowledge, and time to let go of your mistakes.

I am having a tough moment in my life. As I am writing here, as I wrote about my past, I know lots of good things did happen to me when I was young. Compare to this, nothing can replace those happy moments. The loves that I got from parent and others make me an optimist who believed in happily ever after and wish to have my own happy future. Protection and love from my bros and sis makes me alert the importance of good bonding between siblings. Experiences and mistakes of life makes me mature and eager to share with youngster what I have been through. I always pray to Almighty to make me a better person day by day. Keep moving forward, love your family, be nice to others, and do all the good things which make you happy, cause all those happy moments are the best weapon to combat the sadness of life.

Happiness is the best remedy to cure sadness. Even when the happiness was in your past, takes time to remember them.

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