Rain check 2012

Salam and greetings. It has been a while, isn't it? I hope everyone is in the pink of health. It's nearly the end of 2012, so I decided to have a check on 2012 resolutions. I wrote this on January 2012. So lets have a check, shall we?

New year resolution 2012

My new year resolution is more about improving myself. Not to mention i will be a wife, soon. So here's my list, which I also save it in my handphone. I will jot it down and hang it near my bed.

1. Jaga solat. Solat di awal waktu. Alasan tertido or bangun lewat is a big no no! Totally improve in jaga solat, toma'ninah dijaga, bacaan dijaga, cuma nak solat betul-betul awal masih belum terlaksana. Aigooooo~

2. Bangun awal, at least 6 am. Tidur cukup, can't exceed 12. Fail miserably. Tidur sebelum pukul 12 macam sangat jarang berlaku. Sigh.

3. Exercise backbone sebelum tidur. lalalalalalala, tak buat pom.

4. Minum air panas di waktu pagi Berjaya!

5. Jangan lupa makan supplement for backbone and etc. selalu lupa~

6. Jangan miss breakfast. Ada improvement compare to tahun sebelum

7. Jangan minum ais Berjaya kecuali teh ais

8. Rajin di makmal Rajin cuma ada masalah, tahun 2013 insyaAllah berjalan lancar

9. Rajin kemas umah@bilik Saya rasa saya rajin, tapi boleh rajin lagi

10.Rajin basuh baju Perkara paling malas in comparison to lain-lain kerja rumah, sebab baju dibasuh according to types, so, leceh, so, I all rasa malas sikit lah. OK alasan

11.Pakai sun-block sebelum keluar rumah. Ngeeee Bab ni rajin sangat-sangat

12.Pakai lotion sebelum tidur Lupa

13.Pakai selipar rumah. Kaki sensitif aih~ Pakai after dibebel suami

14.Shape kan body ala2 scarlet johansen gitu Scarlet Johansen ada selulit, I all takde, mane ade

15.Facial at least sekali semingggu  Sebulan sekali logik sikit kan, tahun 2012 tiada bajet untuk itu, 2013 insyaAllah ada

16.Baca news every morning Ada improvement, tapi politik luar negara lagi tip top kalau nak compare dengan dalam negara. Ibrahim Ali tu pon tak berape nak kenal, tapi tak kenal beliau pon takpe. Saya baca google news je, suami baca Malaysiakini

17.Baca buku sebelum tidur Awal-awal tahun sangat rajin membaca buku-buku Islamik, akhir-akhir tahun sibuk sikit, takde masa, OK tipu, saya tak peruntukkan masa untuk membaca sebelum tidur. Lagi prefer tickling my hubby, eh eh eh

18.Rajin memasak Rajin kecuali breakfast, kalut sangat. Better prepare bahan sikit malam before tidur, so pagi tu tak rushing. 

19.Jogging di hujung minggu Saya dah lupa bila last saya jogging, nasib baik masih kurus walaupun makan nasi macam 3 orang makan. Kelebihan Allah bagi, tapi kalau tak jaga, takut juga Allah tarik nikmat itu, so she, please jaga

20.Sentiasa pegang buku Selalu pegang planner, sayang sangat kat planner, banyak nota dalam tu

21.Hindar penyakit hati Takde, Alhamdulillah

22.Selalu senyum, jangan masam2 2012 banyak dugaan, selalu menangis. huuuuu

23.Sentiasa bersangka baik Agak susah especially bila terang-terangan you have been mistreated. Alhamdulillah, dapat mimpi separa sedar yang berbunyi.."takpe orang layan tak baik, yang penting kita sentiasa layan orang baik"

24.Menjadi isteri solehah yang terbaik untuk suami~ Sampai ke akhir hayat saya akan sentiasa berusaha!

More to come, have to start little by little.

Dear 2012, I welcomed you with arms wide open. Semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan di tahun 2012.

So how's your 2012?

Love,

She
littlemushroomtales

Inspiration. Dream. Life.

Life is short, live life the way you love it. Read more at littlemushroomtales.

A few notes on recent life

Words are just not enough to describe what I'd been through lately. Mix of emotions I could say. Nevertheless, what past is past. The future never fails to intrigue me. Living in bliss in this present life either as servant to Allah, wife to dear husband, daughter to my parent, or even a master student, only lead me to a rightful way. To Him. Despite all the problems, I am better now. I performed a Solat hajat last couple of days asking for guidance and peace. Sometimes I kept asking myself, how do I look in His 'eyes'? Does He recognize me? How to get His attention? I believe when you are someone so dear to Him, He always remember you. So I add another wish in my wish-list. I want to be a servant so dear to Him. I don't want to just be like other millions servant in this world. I want to be special for Him. So I started my baby steps. I don't wear tight jeans anymore. I wear long scarft to cover my chest. I wore loose cloth. But still it looks pretty in my husband's eyes. Well, that's all what really matter.

As a wife, I can consider myself as a bad wife. In a few circumstances. I struggled to find peace with quality of life after getting married. Sometimes I woke up late and rushed to University. I failed to provide my husband with a good breakfast. I slept late too because of so many divergances. Manga, Facebook, blog, and et cetera. Well something that I constantly need to remind myself is that, I am no longer a single lady. When you vowed to be a great wife on previous day, sacrifices do not awaits you at bay. They linger around you every day. So She, you know what you have to do. Choose your interest wisely, you just can't have it all. Priorities come first.

A senior of mine once said, to really welcome a stranger in your life, it takes time. Hell yeah. On first and second month of our marriage, I remember built a boundary between me and husband. For instances, this is my clothing space, and that is yours. Do not mess with my clothes. Do not bla bla and bla bla. After a while, husband said "What's the point of marriage if we have to follow all the boundaries? Aren't we husband and wife?". Brilliant point, right? Screw me and all my single life rules. Up to this point of life, I am still learning about my husband. What he likes and dislikes in cooking, what does he feel when I say this and that, what he really loves me to wear, what he desires most, and many more. It may take longer time but I am willing to learn. Because he, my husband, is the only man I'd ever love this much.

On my parent, they were doing great at village. I miss them so much. Frequently I shared stories of my childhood to dear hubby. Tears are soo hard to contain when I am talking about them. I have a superb memories of childhood. To my parent, I will give the world to them if I can. Due other responsibilities and limitation, we can't visit them every week. When ever we were at village, week end seem to be shorter. Maybe because Friday is so near to Monday, but Monday is far from Friday. Dear Allah, please shower my parent and ma in law with Your Blessing. Amin.

Life as student is great too! In first semester I managed to complete almost one subfamily and get myself familiar with the laboratory protocols. My supervisor push me to convert my master to pHD. I am excited. The other researcher at FRIM also support my conversion to pHD. Let see how my study will progress in the future. May Allah guide me all the way. 


p/s: I had deleted certain posts that brought judge and prejudge which I totally disagree. This is my own space where I documented what had happened in my life. Just for that purpose, so my future will know what I'd been through nor it's bitter. It took a whole lot of sighing and sighing to open a wounded scar. If I did it with bad intention or because of anger, why would I do it now. All my writings are meant for my future, and to find someone violated and made sarcastic post out of it is totally unacceptable. You may deny or make reasons, but Allah know what happened deep down in your heart. 

I have been writing a lot recently. A good therapy for me. It is all about me, but please bear with it for a while. I have a paper to be written. End of this month, I have to submit an extended abstract. Dear friends kept worrying about me, asking me to take a rest, do not think too much about other things because this is a moment where women become emotionally unstable. Many things keep flashing in my mind. I have a lot to convey. An emotion which is too complex to describe. A few may understand, maybe. 

I seek some advices from seniors. Thank you all for sparing some time chatting and messaging with me. Thank you too for sharing your marriage problems so that I can learn something from it.  It means a lot to me. 

One of them said, 

The key in marriage are patience and tolerance. Men want to be respected, women want to be listened, sometimes there are many unsolved issues because it is better if we leave that matters away, yeah women got frustrated, BUT be patience She. The first five years is about getting to know each other, and it may take even longer. And remember, there is a HUGE difference when you compare the life before and after getting married. Have fun with it, She.


p/s: I read a lot about history, World War, renaissance, revolution and etc, BUT somehow I fail to realize that krabby patty is not the actual burger. Ended up being laughed by many. Damn! She, go home and watch Sponge bob, please. 

Dreams

When I was young, I am eager in pursuing a great career. A fine job, a big double storey house, a car, and all other valuable assets. I graduated with a best student tittle. After graduated, I wish to have more knowledge, high paid salary, so I continue my master degree. I even plan to get a Doctor title as early as possible. I will not marry yet. Not untill I am 28!

That was the dreams when I was in a cacoon.

However, as I turned to be a beautiful butterfly, I see my future with a different perspectives. I talk and act differently. Good friends noticed my changes and they were extremely proud of me. They keep on motivated, not even condemn me even though we have different views of life. 

I have discussed the issue before with friends. What is wrong when an educated women wish to be a full time housewife. I got positive comments from my best friends. Of course some are disagree with the matter, but I am really glad when all of my best friends kinda give their blessings in my decision. It felt like an approval that I make a right call.

Certain girls may disagree with me. I would not say anything but respect your decision. We human raised, think, act, experienced differently. What ever decision you will make in life, think wisely.

My certificates? Well some said girls no need to get high level of education, sooner or later they will hang it in the kitchen!Well here is for you folks, I will hang my certificates in the kitchen! Haha. Take that. I never regret pursuing high level of education. The knowledge and experiences are so precious. I am who I am today because of education. Who would expect the higher you go, the more you value your life. Life is short. Fulfilled it with good things. Become a housewife, devoted yourself to family, get closer to Almighty, then what is more valuable than that. 

I dreamt of devoting myself to my husband. My husband definition would be the one who I really love with (100% love) and he must be a straight guy! Auw Auw tak nak aih, and he is the only man that I want to spent the rest of my life with. Sounds like disney stories? Well I believe in happily ever after. I dream of woke up early and prepare him a healthy meal. Prepare his suit/shirts. A neat socks ready near his polished-shoe. Woke him every morning to lead our Solah, kiss his hand, give him a big hug and telling him that I am  so in love with him. As he is off to work, it is a wife duty to clean the house and make it neat and comfortable to live in. Listen to his stories, accompany him where ever needed, pampered him when he is down, fooling around in our house, watch movies together, kiss him good night, and many more!

Obstacles may come, I pray may Him ease our path to the happily ever after.

I expect none in return, just honesty and love.

p/s: I do hope I will run a home base business. My own company at home! Sounds good, right?

:On a quiet day:

Today was quiet. I was alone at my rental house doing some cleaning and cooking while listening to my favorite music. I browsed the internet, say hello to dear friends in facebook, update my tweets, upload pictures in my tumblr, reading, and find some inspirations.

Talk about inspirations, I found it interesting on how some posts, comments, and sharing from strangers make me feel addicted to know more about their writings. There are a few websites and persons that I personally adore. How I wish I can be like them. Touching others with their beneficial writings. They talk about life, experiences, fashion, religion, and other matters that relate to us.

There are many good things in this world. Even the bad things are good if you take out the positive side of it. Go read and find some inspirations, I am pretty sure you will see things differently.

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

A hardworking student/worker expect the best results in what ever they did. Lovers expect the promising happiness awaits them in the future. Parent expect the best things from their children. Researchers expect the published articles from their research works.

I am a soft spoken person. I expect others to speak softly too. When suddenly people rise up their voice, either intended or unintended to do so, i will cry. Usually. Yeah, i am weak.

In real life, it is better if we expect the unexpected. I guess. It makes you tougher. It makes me tougher~

98% vs 2%

"OMG, have u read what he post on his fb wall? i wouldnt wrote that if i were him"

"OMG, she told the whole world she's cute. Eeeee, what a shame"

"Hey, have u see this vid? she's weird!"

"Do she have to tell the whole world she's bla bla bla"

Those are just example of phrases that 98% people tend to say when they disagree of something. Hey, let them say what they wanna say or share. If u dont like it, then dont see or read it. close ur eyes, dont read. please take care of your mouth, and heart too..k? dis is a lil reminder, apply to me too. There's so many kind of people in dis world. we may found them weird, geek, or freak. but dont u think, dats what make our world seem so beautiful and delightful..

Some may disagree. hey, its normal to talk or gossip about it. we r just human being. well yes, you r normal. the 98% group. i wanna be in the other 2% group (^_^) chayo2!

Set your priority

Everyone need to know their priority. For a husband for instance, their mother always come first before their own wife but for a wife, their husband will always be their priority.

Above is just a simple example. In our daily lives, we also need to set priority. As a student, what is more important than your study. You may join simple business such as MLM or what so eva, but study is always on top of the list. But still, it depend on the individual. Different person may have different view.

In the context of love, things may be quite complicated coz the definition of love itself is very universal. Love to God, parent, lovers, friends, and even plants or animals. But which one is your priority? For me, love to God is always a priority, then love to my parent. Nowadays, we heard a lot in the news, newspaper, magazine, and etc that people tend to neglect their parent and did not seek for their blessing. They going blind for love. They thought they made a right decision.

Firman Allah;

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

Maksudnya;

“Dan Tuhanmu telah memerintahkan supaya kamu jangan menyembah selain Dia dan hendaklah kamu berbuat baik pada ibu bapakmu dengan sebaik-baiknya. Jika salah seorang di antara keduanya atau kedua-duanya sampai berumur lanjut dalam pemeliharaanmu, maka sekali-kali janganlah kamu mengatakan kepada keduanya perkataan "ah" dan janganlah kamu membentak mereka dan ucapkanlah kepada mereka perkataan yang mulia”

(Surah Al-Isra’ : 23)

Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w.,

"Keredhaan Allah terletak pada keredhaan ibubapa manakala kemurkaan Allah terletak pada kemurkaan ibubapa"

In private life, set priority is also crucial for me. this is a lil story about my love life~ Once, i felt guilty of breakin someone's heart. i kept saying im guilty and kept sighing. I dont want him to hate me that much. Come to think about it, im being selfish. Yes, he's hurt, but what about my current other's half. why i put my attention to someone who no longer related to me. he hate me, he dont wanna be my friend anymore..well let it be. i've done my part, i've seek forgiveness, and i pray for his happiness. why? because he no longer my priority. i have set my priority on someone's else now. He's my everything. I should focus on him, make him happy, and take a very good care of the relationship. He maybe still hates me, but there's nothing more i can do. im not gonna wastin my time begging for fwenship anymore. u fall, u may crawling back up here but u choose to keep falling..then just fall. there's nothin more i can do. you are not my priority anymore. But that just for couple of months, thank god u made it. u found your own way of life. now, he's happy, n of course i am happier.

Do forgive and forget what had happened if u wish to move on. Well some may say move on is not easy,bla bla bla. then choose by your own, torture your ownself with sadness or go out there and get a life*search for a cute gul would be good =p*

Men oh men

This is originally from Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray.

"John Gray, you're a fair-weather friend! As long as I'm sweet, loving Bonnie you are here for me, but as soon as I'm not, you walk right out that door".

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"Right now I'm in pain. I have nothing to give, this is when i need you the most. Please, come over here and hold me. You don't have to say anything. I just need to feel your arms around me. Please don't go".

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Men, you thought you are a loving person. As long as your women is happy and nice, you loved them back. But if they were unhappy or upset, you would feel blamed and then argue or distance yourself which is not right. Hold her, touch her, listen to her, and just being there with her~ Who else she would share all the sweet-sour of life. If what you want is only happiness, then find your way to heaven~


P/S: Just now, flirting with my crush. Damn, she's so good in advising. She make me motivated in so many ways. Life is full with unexpected things. I love to flirt with girls, but now I'm falling. Don't misunderstood. I don't mind falling because she's someone you can lean on. If you wrong, then she'll correct you. Above all that, she's hot man, who cares (^_^)v

thinkin mode

Some say dont fall deeper in love if u dont wanna get hurt. hmm, from on my own point of view, u urself dont fall in love if u r afraid to get hurt. there's alwaz risk in uncertain thing like dis. we r just mere human being,wanna love n be loved. whats wrong with fallin deeper in love when u knew he will wait at d bottom to catch u. n if he dont, bet other guys will catch u then, n if still no one there to catch u, ur family n besties is there to help u, n if u dont trust them either, God is there to help u~have faith. if he's not meant for u,then maybe another great guy is there waitin for u. so smile!

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hey, u love siti nurhaliza? errr..i dont think so. i hate her. why? donno, i just hate her*apakah!*

Honestly, i found it weird when u hate people without a single reason~people is weird nowadays. I guess. U dont know her/him. u dont even set eyes on her/him. That shows that hate is just a simple feelings. no need a reason, but still why let simple feeling like that take over your emotion and express it through anger? Sorry to say, but i think u r so so weak human being. This is just a lil reminder to all, including me (^_^)v

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Im thinkin a lot recently, esp about life. i made couple of mistakes back then in my past. im just a human being~not perfect at all. what matter is d future. bright future, wait for me~

Some dramas in my life

My first love when i was 19( cinta monyet x kire). I was introduced by a cousin to dis handsome guy who is a year older than me. He's tall, fair, and handsome. Several months after that, I discovered dat he already has a girlfriend. Hoho, i met a playboy! *Cisss~* His gulfwen *bini tua* kept msging and scolding me *haih, i didnt know u were exist la kak*. We broke up and i terribly suffer from that. Loss appetite, loss weight, but im surviving. Months after that, he told me he broke up with dat gul and seek my love back. But hey, m not falling anymore. We were just friend after that. End of 2008, he told me he's going to get marry. After that, we lost contact. to him, wish u all d best in wateva u do and tq for d lessons u teach me. Dont be such a naive gul n dont trust men 100% (^_^)v

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I watched Korean drama a lot and always thought dat, 2nd hero *d guy who will wait, beggin, and loyal to his lover, even though he knows d 1st hero already won d heroin heart* never exist in dis world. You create a controversy when u came all d way from KL to my workplace and begging for my love in front of him, and others. I remembered saying..im sorry, i cant give u what u seek. u suffered, im suffered too. Your kindness, d memories u gave me overshadowing me for quite a time. I live in guilt even though i know dis is d wise decision i'd ever made in my life. Lie no more, dis is d truth. human is no perfect, either u or me. No regret for sure coz im certain in what im doing. i have my reason. People talk about this, they even judge n punish me *coz i broke a man heart?* Recently, i just knew u already found ur soulmate. Im happy for u n tq for everything. Lessons dat i learnt~ be certain in what u seek in ur life.

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He is my schoolmate, an old fwen of mine*cinta monyet sek rendah*. We lost contact during secondary school. He said he do sent me a letter, but not sure whether i got d letter or not. We found each other back at friendster. He confess his feelings but at dat time, im already with someone else. When i broke up with my 2nd boyfwen, i already have someone else in my heart too. He said..after what hapen, i just realize dat we r not meant for each other, but i want u to know d journey of my love for u. then, he started his story telling n m just listening. He will write a novel about it entitled 'Cinta sang perwira'. To him, God knows how much i appreciate d love of urs n will always consider u a special fwen of mine. TQ. He got a girlfwen now n im absolutely happy for u dear!

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There's so many dramas in life. this is just a few. enjoy ur life n just put away all d probs. am trying to do that!

Fill ur world with love

Attended 4 weds dis weekend, just a lil exhausted but more to excited. Got a change to meet close fwens of him, lovely family of his fwen, and more important, me finally met his mom. A person whom i wish to meet personally*i kiss her hand~owh..fainted!* She glanced at me with her warm smile before she's leavin for another wed *owh~im dead already*

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Well dats not what i really wanna share. Seeing people with their own happy moment make me feels bubbly. Again. Me easily drown by love. No need to hear a love word from them, u can tell it from their faces. d bright smile and laughin dat they shared makes me thinkin how beautiful dis world would be if we were surrounded by love. No hatred. d bonding that we shared, either we r their relatives, neighbours, friends, or even strangers is not a matter on that day. Everyone is welcomed. Being part of d wed ceremony makes me fell.....NAK KAWEN! d feeling is so clear and tenacious. i wanna be a wife. A great wife to my hubby. i wanna please him for the rest of his life. i wanna be a great woman beside him. i wanna hug and kiss him everytime he's down. i wanna be his strength and also his weakness. i wanna be his angel. A goddess for him. I wanna love him more than i love myself. i wanna be a wife~i really do*masa yg ader ni,better prepare to be a great wife,no easy task for sure. of course my master too*

p/s: Thank you Allah, me so grateful livin peacefully in Malaysia. I send my doa' to our kin in Palestin~